Dear Mum,
While you were out
a cup went and broke itself,
a crack appeared in the blue vase
your great-great granddad
brought back from china.
Somehow, without me even turning on the tap
The sink mysteriously overflowed.
A strange jam stain
about the size of a boy's hand,
appeared on the kitchen wall.
I don't think we'll ever discover
exactly how the cat
managed to turn on the washing machine
(especially from the inside)
or how the self-raising flour managed to self raise.
I can tell you I was scared when, as if by magic,
a series of muddy footprints appeared on the
new white carpet.
I was being good (honest) but I think
the house is haunted so,
knowing you're going to have a fit
I've gone over to Gran's for a bit.
Brian Patten is a famous English poet. He was born in Liverpool, England, in 1946. He wrote for a newspaper called, 'The Bootle Times'. His popular collections include 'Little Johnny's confession', 'Vanishing Trick', 'Armada' and 'Gargling with Jelly', among many others. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature, Liverpool University & John Moores University.
- great-great granddad: father of great grand father
- mysteriously: in a way that is difficult to comprehend
- self-raising flour: flour to which raising agent has already been added
- haunted: a place visited by spirits or ghosts
- gran: short from of grandmother
Tick [ √ ] the correct answer(s) to complete the statements given below:
a. The cracked blue vase was brought back from China. This shows that
- Chinese vases are easily available across the world.
- the child's mother's great-great granddad had traveled to China.
- the author's parents liked displaying antiques.
- the vase has been in the family for a long time.
b. The child says the house is haunted because
- he has seen a ghost wandering about the house.
- he wants to pin the blame of his mischief on a ghost.
- a ghost lives in the author's house.
- the child is scared of ghosts and wants to tell his mother about it.
c. The kitchen sink has mysteriously overflowed because
- the child left the tap running.
- the kitchen sink is choked.
- the tap cannot be turned off.
- the child tried to store water in the sink.
- (ii) the child's mother's great-great granddad had traveled to China
- (ii) he wants to pin the blame of his mischief on a ghost.
- (i) the child left the tap running.
A series of muddy footprints appeared on the new white carpet.
- How do you think the muddy footprints appeared on the carpet?
- What do you think the child is trying to achieve by writing this letter to his mother?
- What do you think is the author scared of?
A strange jam stain about the size of a boy's hand appeared on the kitchen wall.
- Why do you think is the jam stain about the size of a boy's hand?
- What does the poet imply by using the word 'appeared'?
- What can you conclude about the child from this extract?
While you were out, a cup went and broke itself.
- Who does 'you' refer to in this extract?
- How old do you think is the child? five reasons for your answer.
- Do you think the child's mother will believe him? Give reasons for your answer.
Why did the child feel compelled to write a letter to his mother?






























































